random thoughts of a tapered brain

Archive for November, 2010

hypocrisy should be kept concealed. It’s an ugly ogre!

Davos (Switzerland) - The Brazilian writer Pau...

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“There’s something very wrong with civilization, and it isn’t the destruction of the Mau forest or the ozone layer, the death of pandas, cigarettes carcinogenic foodstuffs or prison conditions…” Paulo Coelho.

Editors Note: replace the Mau with Amazon rainforest.

In his book 11 minutes, the author wrote in reference to the act of sex. through Maria, the prostitute, he wonders why the world revolves around an activity that if you strip off the time spent on taking off clothes, making fake gestures of affection, banal conversations, the after-shower and dressing up ; coitus (I have always wanted to use this word – ok, spare me the stares. I get enough judging elsewhere) only last eleven minutes.

I’m no Chris Hart so I pick up the baton from the point”…very wrong with civilization” and go off on a different tangent.

So Mr Ruto was greeted like a warrior back from battle, he was our present day Leonidas after he slay the Persian god Xerxes and was returning to his Spartan home. Furiously shaking my head!!

Apparently its snitch season in Kenya so if you hold any grudge against anybody, spill the beans now or forever hold your peace. Ruto and Kiunjuri have gone ahead.

The latter makes for good comedy – mind you he was a teacher before landing in the MPig-sty. My heart goes out to those students. If at all the queens language came by ship, Mr Honourable picked the wrong container.

Editors Note: Focus, don’t be subjective. Stick to the plot and stop skipping scenes.

Enter Mama Rainbow and her godfather Raila Amolo Odinga.

Humanity is indeed defined by hypocrisy, double-standards and selfishness. Yes, something is wrong with our peoples; and it’s not sex-related.

But who died and made thecoloseum the morality policeman? Nobody did. I am stacked together with the rest of mankind; looking out for themselves, seeking to get the most by giving the least.

All the people who went to meet Ruto should be rounded up and checked in for mental check-ups. I guess they were there to show support for their hero who was being “persecuted” by the media and tried in the public court.

Enough literature has been written and words uttered to try demystify the reason for his trip to meet the world’s representation of justice; Ocampo.

After all the noise had died down, it became apparent that Ruto may not have met face to face with Mr Justice but met his kada-ya-moko’s as he went off to London.

But one thing is clear; Ruto is shaking in his boots. At some point he seemed at the verge of tears. (Don’t cry for me Argentinaaaaa). The spear-shaking warrior’s foundation was rocked by whatever he was told at The Hague.

I won’t delve into the allegations that Ruto has made against the KNCHR commissioner. This is just one of those games where a new development will tip the scale this way and that way in a vicious cycle. I will sit this one out.

My nozzle then shifts to RAO. Dude, I have immense admiration for you (new found, in fact it’s still in its infant stage – do not kill it) but who appointed you Ngilu’s godfather?

This full-throttle support and your discovery that some of the allegations against politicians may be malice-driven come a bit too late. Why did you not do the same with Ruto and Wetangula.

C’mon sir, hypocrisy at all times should be kept well concealed. It’s an ugly ogre!

The energy with which you have come to Mama Rainbow’s defence stinks of double standards.


Go and oversee other ministries; hers is in the mud already; literally!

I don’t care much for politicians and in the event that I end up as one, do not waste too much empathy on me. Believe me that is wasted emotion!

No politician has your interests at heart. It’s just how they are wired and that is the system we found ourselves in.

Some individuals, who are long dead, somewhere sat down, looked at the rest of their community and decided that they (the hopeless and uninformed) needed a “single body” to lead them and make decisions for them. Governments were born and we were forever cursed with politicians.

Something is indeed wrong with humanity, but we are stuck with it.


Don’t Drop The Soap, William


moreno - imma getchu



Riley Freeman, we need you. We have a snitch amongst us. The name of the transgressor is Stepped Aside Minister William Ruto (MP).

I have friends who had sworn they would grow horns before Ruto steps on Ocampo’s hallowed ground. Others swore that it would only happen in the distant future – 300 years at the least. Well, the unthinkable happened; dude is in Netherlands.

Cue Shaggy’s song…..It wasn’t me. For those of you on Twirra, check out the hash tag #rutoplaylist. It’s been trending worldwide since morning. I think Kenya is the cradle of (crazy) mankind. Check it out.

There is this pungent smell of revolution, national cleansing and a renewed fight against corruption that has filled our airspace. This is me NOT COMPLAINING.  Our president Kibaki believes those who “eat” the taxpayers’ money are wasting oxygen. He thinks death is the most generous punishment they can get…hmmmm. (Random thoughts of opening a coffin business)

I totally love this “new Kenya” – except the retarded women who performed an equally retarded, possessed dance for PLO in Mombasa. No, Lumumba does not do crazy. He prefers letters and emails. Get ua sane on women…you make the rest of your kind look bad.

It was an open secret that Waki’s envelope had Williams name as the stamp and seal.  He was going to see the big man even if Rooney actually left Manchester and joined some nondescript team like chelsea. But everybody was caught flat with his latest move.

He just up and left.

Mr Ruto, who does that, weren’t you taught better? People don’t just shift countries like thieves. Ata kwaheri jameni!!  There is a huge chance this is a one way trip!

When interrogating suspects, policemen usually assume two opposing roles; good cop and bad cop.

Bad cop does all the chest-thumping and dishing out threats in their hundreds. An occasional slap and kick here and there is also not strange. If this doesn’t work, the Good cop enters the room, tells off Mr I will-blend-your-balls–if-you-don’t-tell-me-where-you-hid-the-gun and then in a calm, saner tone reassures the shaken fellow that all will be ok.

This is the guy William Ruto is talking to. The good cop still cuffs the bloke after he confesses. The only difference is that he is more humane in his tactics.

What in Ocampo’s face resembles good intention, honestly? Especially that picture that’s used repeatedly in the dailies with him staring (at some distant image of Ruto in cuffs) away seemingly in deep thought.

The hidden hand has cuffs with your name engraved in them)

I have met snitches in my life. I have been accused of being one, that was way back in high school. Silly young men!

But you Sir, not once did not come across as a tello-teller (that’s not a real word), ever! But as they say, nothing on the face can reveal the fullness of the heart.

Here is free advice from a man who has not been to Hague and holds not aspirations of occupying the white house on the hill. Ocampo is your enemy! Moreno is your nemesis! He will smoke you! He will take you to the cleaners and back! Take the next flight home and say that you were recalled for CIVIC DUTY! (it always works)

Hold up, I don’t like you. So I should be happy that in your twisted way of defining danger, you skipped Moreno. SMH.

Secondly, the PEV affected many innocent Kenyans whose only crime was having voters’ cards. I should be happy.

Ok, engage happy face , cue star jumps, cat wheels next. Woooohoo. (I should go back to work, hii leave itaniharibu)

Reason and the left side of my brain dictate that everybody is presumed/assumed to be innocent until proven guilty – unless you’re Onyancha of course.

So, go ahead and have your secret meeting with the wolf in sheep’s clothing (Sheep wear clothes?), just make sure you don’t stay too far away from the door.

In case he make sudden moves forward, RUN and don’t look back, you might turn into a pillar headed straight for lockdown. If this happens, DON’T DROP THE SOAP, Charles Taylor is on block D; BEFRIEND HIM, but don’t accept his diamonds. In case you do, DO NOT DROP THE SOAP!!!


dont drop the soap



Also, tap the floor before taking steps forward. I hear Ocampo is a tech-junkie; I wouldn’t put trap doors and underground chambers beyond him.

That’s all for now, Mister Snitch, sorry Minister Stepped Aside William Ruto.

Signed, the fan you do not have!

Back to the #rutoplaylist

Hymm to Isis………3rd or 4th century B.C.

For I am the first and the last

I am the venerated and the despised

I am the prostitute and the saint

I am the wife and the virgin

I am the mother and the daughter

I am the arms of my mother

I am barren and my children are many

I am the married woman and the spinster

I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated

I am the consolation for the pain of birth

I am the wife and the husband

And it was my man who created me

I am the mother of my father

I am the sister of my husband

And he is my rejected son

Always respect me

For I am the shameful and the magnificent one…….