random thoughts of a tapered brain

…RED CALL, DEAD FALL…

Technology is one of the most versatile, and in effect the potentially dangerous, fruits of the modern world. In close second to technology is Justin Beiber. I’m for real!!!

Smart phones’ that can do virtually everything short of massaging your back (and some bored geek is probably onto this too), cars that run on vegetables, and good old hardcover books compressed into iPad tablet form. If you can think it, it’s probably out there.

But the guy with the bragging rights must be the internet; sitting atop the hill watching the rest coming up with innovations that have eventually circle it and proceed to market them through the web. The web is borderless; ok, except if you live in some nondescript land in far away china and parts of Saudi Arabia where the leaders suffer from technophobia and think that blackberries and Google are devils bent on toppling their kingdoms.

This trait of being borderless has though proved more dangerous than useful at times. The numerous spam messages that sneak into my account daily (all with sex-related subjects) are the occupational hazards that we must contend with. And the millions of pranksters resident in Oga town who are after my immature pay slip. I think they should come up with firewalls that screen for STUPIDITY.

The now viral hoax that has our country pissing in their new republic pants is about a supposed red call, red flag, and red numbers. It is said that if you pick up a “private number” call with the red characteristics, and then it’s your time to go meet Jimmy Hendrix up above.

Trust Kenyans to try and outdo each other in coming up with names and ambitious accusations that the No team is behind this death scare. Results can be amusing to say the least.  Kifo- pap!  M-kifo!  Death is calling!  *131*red# okoa jeneza!  Jionee, jireceivie, jikufie!

This whole debacle is obviously a hoax and has exposed how feeble hearted and shaky in belief some of Kenyans really are. A scare that originated in the Maldives has grown tentacles and is sweeping across the country like a thirsty fire, consuming the believers and non believers in zest and leaving people with irregular heartbeats and sweaty foreheads.

There are numerous emails on the net seeking to explain the source of this red call alert message and on some, it’s revealed that the message is just a remixed version of one that has been to Pakistan, Cambodia, Kuwait and several Middle Eastern countries. The feeling was that this was the work of sorcerers and witches. When did voodoo go all hi-tech, and the way i thought teleporting on “Charmed” was awesome. What happened to the old school flying broom and potions in a pot; the death of customs i guess!

Anyway, let me put on my serious cap, kufa-pap *fits of laughter* is indeed a serious issue. One question though, where are all our religious Kenyans? And by this i mean the avid followers and the submarine type who only resurface on Sundays and fill our fb news feeds with bible verses. What happened to God will protect us all from the evil one in whichever form (or non-form in this case) that he takes?

Hon. Oparanya yesterday detailed the number of indigenous chicken resident in the country and went on to mention the 18.3mil Protestants, 9mil Catholics, 4.5mil other Christians and 4.3mil Muslims. He even had a column for the pagans and traditionalists and others who have no clue where they belong.

Simple arithmetic shows that majority of the populace actually believe in a God. I do. Then why has a sizeable portion of the same group resulted to cultivating panic and calling their loved ones up to “caution” them against this supposed call of death? People let us practice what we preach and can those who are shaking in their boots grow a spine and see through this vague prank.

m-kufa

I am receiving calls of all colours by the way; green, red and purple if the caller can pull it off. But i would really appreciate it if you could do a brown call – I totally love the colour. And now that I have a kabambe phone whose only hint of colour is the Safaricom branding, the feat would leave me lol-ing… *dead* with mesmerisation…. So go ahead – Rambo bamboo…boom boom……

Will leave you with this quote….. “Don’t let the red numbers scare you, there has been another red number that has been calling you for more than 2100years, reddened by the blood of Jesus Christ – this one brings life, not death. The number is 3:16….will you receive the call?”

safaricom’s response http://www.safaricom.co.ke/index.php?id=1544

2 responses

  1. Nai3mty

    Jst think of the possibilities n imagine u r hearin ur phone’s ringtone n wen lookin at the caller id.. (ITS THE RED CALL) now be honest plz… tel me wil u recieve the CALL rightaway???!

    September 2, 2010 at 00:25

    • my first reaction would be disappointment… “I THOUGHT I REQUESTED FOR BROWN???” red sux…

      and what possibilities are this your talking about? the same possibilities that i may wake up one day and my cat decides to stab me with a knife or better still my laptop grows teeth and chews me up? this is stuff only true in Hollywood. that is unless you believe in juju nonsense..

      the chances are as close to nil as you can get…..

      September 2, 2010 at 08:33

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