random thoughts of a tapered brain

Archive for August, 2010


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”

If you are into meaningless debates and abuse of intelligence, politics is a good place to rest. I have always insisted that politicians have the unenviable task of tarnishing the value of brains and IQ. What else other than the lowest form of stupidity would warrant the foreign ministry to invite al-Bashir.

bashir cartoon

The guy has been indicted of crimes against humanity and is a walking example of what not to do to your fellow humans. When one assumes the highest level of leadership in the form of presidency, the question “where does the buck stop?” is answered by an emphatic “at your feet, sir!!”

Here is a man to whom pride and dignity rank highest on his priority list and is known for angry public outbursts especially when he feels that his healthy ego has been pricked. He midwives the Darfur war, financing the Arab militia (Janjaweed) leading to deaths of Hundreds of thousands of Sudanese.

janjaweed on horseback

And he comes in strolling to our big party. I was at work on #promfriday and I could swear I heard enough jaws hit the floor. Dude could even afford a smile; and it looked genuine!

you cant touch me smile???

The arguments i have heard so far for and against his visit….

There is a huge majority out there who don’t give an oink if it was Osama and his generals who had gate crushed our rebirth party. To them, politics is just one winding game of wits and changing opinions and which does not interest them at all. To that lot; I have no idea why you have read this third-rate post thus far.

Amos Kimunya was in battle mode yesterday as he defended the visit. Last time I saw him in such a knot was when he managed to cheat death and resign. There he was at a press conference (instead of having a relaxed Sunday outing with family) telling us to put our gratitude caps and commend Omar’s visit for taking a very huge risk flying in to share in our joy. Who said we wanted him to come in the first place?

That dais should have been reserved for the president, the political enigma, the CEO members and the IIEC chairman (if only for the emotional speech he gave on referendum night) the rest of them were bored Africans looking for an exciting way to while away their Friday; how else would you explain the Comoros president being around I didn’t know “international ties” exist between our countries.

My good friend Adam was next with a moral salvo; questioning why Kenyans have taken the vantage point in this debate, staying clear off the murky land below littered with memories of the PEV when we almost ran the country into the ground over elections gone blurry. The two scenarios are as different as chalk and cheese. Ours was a war based feeding off tribal hatred while for them it’s about traditional conflict over resources, which has been coated with claims of marginalization between the north and the south.

Sure, we murdered our neighbors like small irritant bugs, but that does not mean now that our moral template was formatted and that we not speak against similar atrocities as ours. It’s always said that you may never really know the value of peace until you experience war. Now that we got our fingers burned, we should use our charred fingers to point at all wrongs. And Bashir is a wrong; a waste of functioning organs I dare say.


It beats simple logic and reason to sign a document and then go ahead to break it even before the ink dries. The reasoning that we owe our neighbors respect and they are partners in regional stability is as close to diplomatic tittle-tattle as you will get. By assenting to the Rome statutes, that piece of legislative was entrenched in our constitution and as such is superior to the AU one that our divided government is hiding behind-that dissuades member countries from arresting the warlord. After all, no law is supreme to the law of the land.

This matter would have best been avoided by not inviting him in the first place, or do it and then at the last hour inform him that info has leaked in that Ocampo’s squad has set up camp in his anticipation. He would have stayed put in his oily country. Now instead of discussing the so-christened second republic, we are involved in debates on the morality of inviting this war guru. Whoever advises our president on some issues should stop three bullets and die in a pool of blood; nah, make that 5 bullets – the extra ones are just because we can. NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THIS POWER…….


Have a great week guys………………………..



Sleep can be intoxicating. The downside of not getting enough of it for 3 consecutive days is that your body lets you know “you eff’d up”.

So this script was playing out on Tuesday morning on my way to work, in a matatu with spent air. The number of Kenyans who had returned to the land of nod was considerable. The frequency was 105.2. The jam was in the “msafara wa siafu” proportions. Another cliché day!

I always put on a brave fight, Time magazine in hand or my book for the week, I will flip through the pages in a game of who blinks first; my concentration or my sleep.  Usually without external forces, the former prevails. (Reading on the mafia and sleep are not bed-fellows)


Somewhere near Safari park, our Jeremy Clarkson-wannabe driver decides to swerve to the right impromptu. You would be forgiven for thinking he had spotted a rat hole that leads directly to town and wanted there was no way he was going to miss it. The huge imposing Nissan “bullbar’d” Hard body pickup being the least of his worries.

And just like that BAM!!!! I have been in a worse accident where the rear wheel of the mat rolled off, but that was less noisy. The ladies at the back shouted in religious unison, saying their prayers. All i remb saying to myself was “Damn, that was loud!!!” because it really was.

Surprisingly, I was first off the matatu, top thing on my mind was “aki nitachelewa job”…

As i boarded the next matatu, my thoughts wandered away to how LIFE is as unsure as the weather. Today you may be skippin’ to my lou at your favourite joint and tomorrow you being referred to in past tense. And that is when your heart takes to thanking the God you believe in. And that is exactly what i did on the chilly morning that had forced my moods to run back indoors.

spread your wings

It does not take much to say a silent prayer; we utter enough bad words at the top of our voices. A silent prayer will definitely not kill anybody.

Say a prayer for the child tags on your jacket, a desolate look on their face and begging for hadouts and you speedily dismiss them.

Remember to utter a silent one for the sick people lying in hospital bed; lost in painful solo-debates if that visit by his wife is the last or if he will live to eat her superbly cooked beef stew again.

Say a hushed one for the grandmother taking care of the 8 children left orphaned by the deadly, sneaky viral killer; a lady who by no fault of her own finds herself between a rock and an even tougher one.

As we go with self-glorifying utterances and dehumanising others, remember that we are all equal before Him. The Orwellian hypothesis that “all animals are equal, while others are more equal than others” is shred to bits in his presence.

You are not entitled to a working heart, it’s by his choice that it performs as it does. Remember to give thanks for life as it is; beautiful and promising…


…Africa: the Scramble for Survival…

The satirical piece…HOW TO WRITE ABOUT AFRICA..was definetely meant for this Writer below…

The Great Rift Valley can be seen from space. It shears down the eastern shoulder of Africa, a vast geological gash, one of the mysteries of the continent’s power. Human life began in the Rift, as if it were gleaming up through a crack in the world.

Africa has a genius for extremes, for the beginning and the end. It seems simultaneously connected to some memory of Eden and to some foretaste of apocalypse. Nowhere is day more vivid or night darker. Nowhere are forests more luxuriant. Nowhere is there a continent more miserable.

Africa — sub-Saharan Africa, at least — has begun to look like an immense illustration of chaos theory, although some hope is forming on the margins. Much of the continent has turned into a battleground of contending dooms: AIDS and overpopulation, poverty, starvation, illiteracy, corruption, social breakdown, vanishing resources, overcrowded cities, drought, war and the homelessness of war’s refugees. Africa has become the basket case of the planet, the “Third World of the Third World,” a vast continent in free fall.

In the face of political instability and disintegrating roads, airports and telephone networks, and other disincentives, investors from Europe, America and Japan are withdrawing from sub-Saharan Africa and looking elsewhere; Africans too are pulling out their money. Why risk expropriation or failure in a continent with a weakness for one-party kleptocracy, where drainage by corruption often equals or exceeds the legitimate intake?

Cynics in Kenya refer to President Daniel arap Moi’s mining interests as “That’s mine! That’s mine! And that’s mine! . . .” Expatriate businessmen estimate that wealthy Nigerians have enough money in personal deposits abroad to pay off the country’s entire foreign debt, more than $36 billion. Zaire’s President Mobutu Sese Seko has a personal fortune that has been estimated from $4 billion to $6 billion, not far below the level of the country’s external debt. He has isolated himself from his people — and from gathering political unrest — aboard a luxury yacht that cruises the Zaire River.

If it is to recover, Africa in the coming years will need all its mystical powers of resilience. AIDS is devastating the continent’s population. It has hit as hard among the cosmopolitan, educated elite as among the villagers, a fact that threatens continuing development. If the rate of infection continues to increase, the effect could be like that of World War I upon the youth of Britain, France and Germany. Yet in the strange arithmetic of apocalypse, aids will not serve as an ultimate check on over-population. According to World Bank projections, sub-Saharan Africa’s population will rise from 548 million today to 2.9 billion by the year 2050. The huge increase in mouths to be fed threatens to swamp any foreseeable economic growth and force living standards ever downward.


Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,976401,00.html#ixzz0xcFq61TP

..Safaricom House driven inZain + Dead boring Afte..

I am bored. Ok, that’s being mild. I am very bored! It’s almost like boredom is another fellow in the room with me. I can almost see him standing there with this sneer across his cold face.

I honestly hope that i had some work to do today. It’s a fact that tomorrow when I’m swamped by stuff to do, i will miss this afternoon where I had the chance to practice the art of doing nothing.

Having gone through my entire you tube library and thought up all the old school songs that I love, i decided that stretching it past Tracy Chapman’s Crossroads and Paul Simon’s Diamonds on the soles of her shoes, I should try a different thing, and i remembered that I have a blog, and I could write something (at this moment is where i got distracted by the Borowitz report that got delivered in my inbox)

I had a heated debate with a pal of mine who works at Safaricom; I was kinda shocked at it since we have never argued in our entire friendship. But it stemmed from the constant updates I would put p concerning Safaricom and Zain.

  • .A Zain roadshow was stationed at Safaricom Hq. and they were playing Bendover for almost an hour..
  • “Suffericon is driving me inZain…” anonymous.. Kenya has haters!!!
  • .zile sim card zinawekwa nyuma ya battery leo zimeamshwa…welcome back to zain people.

She put it to me (that as far as my law lingo goes) that I was a biased blogger and facebooker! I had no reply to most of what she said because first, this was unprecedented, she actually was mad at me!! And secondly, since most of what she was telling I had more than a hint of truth in it.

She took it upon herself to take me through Safaricom 101 and sat back and listened (i had no option!!! Plus I’m bored, remember…) and detailed about how the government is using its machinery to assist some companies to the exclusion and detriment of others. Which is a bad precedent, I agree.

The Zain 3g network that is in the pipelines has got a major boost from the government in terms of slashed implementation costs and by halving thee interconnect charges, they have been handed another silver platter.  She even explained to me about the taxes levelled against them and asked; is it a crime to be Successful in Kenya?


Ok, save the slings and arrows for another forum oh ye blood bayers, but if thought out objectively, the anger that MJ had portrayed a few months ago was warranted to some extent.

They are on the wrong side of the governments bandit moves while it seems that Zain and majority of Kenyans who think that they have been oppressed for far too long by the leading operator are on the other.

Anyway, i ended the conversation (more of a monologue) and promised to practice objectivity in later pieces that i write.

zain bendover offer to safcom

So, now that i have slashed a few minutes off my loooooooong afternoon, i will beg to end there with this link showing another tough move by Rene Meza and his team. They showed up at Safaricom Hq’s in a truck and blasted the raunchy Bendover song at them……this is a new frontier in Companies battles..the choice of song leaves alot to be desired coming from a company that is supposed to be respected…they brought the heat right at safcoms doorstep..rightly so..but in that was unprofessional to say the least..

One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama Exists..

I have come across many political satirists, my best tv one being Jon Stewart who hosts the daily show. my favourite literary one must be Andy Borowitz..this guy has some excuse of a brain whose harvest he dishes out in witty posts weekly. gotta love this guy. the Borowitz report i have lifted here is the latest…….

..the chosen one...

New mystery about Obama’s birth

(but kuna pahali anaingilia kenya….aiiii yawa…..)

In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama’s legitimacy as President, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans are not convinced that Mr. Obama exists.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I believe that Barack Obama’s birth was faked, just like the moon landing.”

The poll results coincide with the recent rise of the so-called “Exister” movement, a group who believes that Mr. Obama is an optical illusion created by the Democratic Party to raise taxes and bail out banks.

“The Birthers say that Obama’s lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya,” says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister.  “We believe it’s proof that he was never born.”

Ms. Rance says that while President George W. Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, “Obama is never there to begin with.”

Appearing Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) made comments about Mr. Obama’s existence that only stoked the controversy.

“I’ve spoken to him face-to-face, and I take him at his word that he exists,” he said.  “Unless of course I was talking to a hologram.”

At the White House, spokesman Robert Gibbs brushed aside a question about the President’s existence, saying that Mr. Obama had “no comment.”

Exister leader Jerrilene Rance offered this response: “The reason he has no comment is that he has no mouth.”

Election Night


Sure, we all know how to do nothing. We all know how to lay around and waste time. But many of us are too busy to do it much, and when we do it, our minds are often on other things. We cannot relax and enjoy the nothingness. Doing nothing can be a waste of time, or it can be an art form. Here’s how to become a master, and in the process, improve your life, melt away the stress and make yourself more productive when you actually do work.

Doing nothing, in the true sense of the word, can be overwhelming if you attempt to do too much nothing at once. Do small nothings at first. Focus on 5-10 minutes at a time, and start your practice sessions in a safe place — at home, not at work or in a busy public place. You may also not be ready to do nothing in the middle of nature, so do it in your bedroom or living room. Find a time and place where there are not many distractions, not much noise, not a lot of people to bother you.

Shut off all distractions — TV, computer, cell phones, regular phones, Blackberries, and the like. Doing nothing is hard when our communications gadgets are calling at us to do something.

Now, close your eyes, and do nothing. Yes, the smart-asses out there will say you’re doing something — you’re sitting there or laying there, closing your eyes. But we mean doing nothing in the sense that if someone were to call us up and ask what we’re doing, we say “Oh, nothing.” Don’t let them call you up, though. They are trying to distract you!!! Sarah Freder…..




First, if you clicked on this blog due to the title, I bet by now you have skimmed through the post and noted, with depressing gaga, that there is no Lady Gaga present and definitely no skin on show. I did it just to mess with you…the cure to boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity!

What was that nude Gaga viral video doing the rounds on Facebook a week ago? I guess people never learn, this is how internet theft and viral attacks start. Phishing applications almost always come dressed in some attractive, and in this case NO, clothes; an iron fist in velvet gloves!

Their m.o is always Trojan-like, once one of your curious/head-in-the-gutter/ignorant friends opens it, it replicates itself and “jumps”to others with the hope of hooking many more in the web of lust/curiosity/ignorance….steer clear of this and have a secure week.

This post, however, has all to do with few random things about me. Showing some of my personality’s skin (wtf does this mean?) In keeping with the tags from my blog mates and promises to write my own, here’s my lazy Sunday morning attempt. The key word here is RanDom.

“So much of life, it seems to me, is determined by pure randomness.”
Sidney Poitie

1. I’m the third born in a family of the craziest human beings I know. Mom is the only sane element (God bless her abundantly) in the House of Crazies. I am the First born son, 2 ladies precede me, 2 guys came later than yours truly. Truly blessed and fun family. My late pops, 17years later, is still an inspiration; best example of a good father and husband I know to date.

2. I have a near silly infatuation with the Italian mob. Yes, I know more about the Cosa nostra,mafia, Sicily, Don Vito Corleone and Charles “Lucky”Luciano than is deemed legal. I do not have criminal tendencies and I have never beaten anybody to a pulp (my frame didn’t come built for that), so KILL those judgmental thoughts. I have a poster of the Don in my room; have watched all the mob movies available; from the Godfather trilogy to Goodfellas. Currently I’m reading a book MAFIA “Inside the Dark Heart” by A.G.D Maran.

Inside the Dark Heart

“But I’m a superstitious man. And if some unlucky accident should befall him – If he should get shot in the head by a police officer, or if he should hang himself in his jail cell – or if he’s struck by a bolt of lightning, them I’m going to blame some of the people in this room”

Don Corleone to other Dons….

3. I love my coffee black and steaming hot. Who takes their coffee warm? And that’s the problem I have with kahawa dates; since you have to pace yourself and talk the evening away, the precious liquid’s heat looses patience! Coffee should be done in 10min tops. I don’t like mocha’s – I’m guessing that’s the espresso with hints of chocolate- that’s the textbook definition of adulteration, do you see me adding juice to my beer?

..delicious start and end to my day…

4 I’m a reggae addict. Hold up with the “Jah rasta-fried-rice haile-selassie-ate-it” chants. And the answer is NO, I do not do weed, and neither do I find tight jeans, multi colored tee’s and Sahara’s fancy. I only protect the camp but do not sit in the tent. Plus I have learnt not to engage in fruitless “jitetearing”. I will let the music sing for itself and Uptown “Bendover” Thursdays at Rez with  G-Money will do the rest.

Christopher Martin – Paper Lovin’

Cecile  – waiting for my baibe

Busy Signal – One more Night/Night Shift

Richie Spice – Yap Yap

Gyptian – Hold Yuh


5.I posted this somewhere and I got branded a hopeless geek; I expect no less from you. My best computer sound is the pop that you hear when you eject a flash disk. Yes, that 1sec sound just does it for me. They say that in life it’s the small things that matter (thoroughly misplaced analogy but who cares)


6.  I am in a love-death relationship with my laptop, you mess with it, and you die. And that is said with a lot of love – for my laptop obviously!!! If you have an option, take it. ata simu iko na keyboard. But that doesn’t mean that iv named it; I’m straight you know.

7. In case you wake up one day and Speaker Marende’s spirit of philanthropy had paid you a visit in your sleep, and it expressly told you to get me a gift, try a well behaved book or a relatively well priced watch. You could start with any book detailing the life and times of Paul Kagame the tyrant president.

8.I think I think too much. Musing over stuff, flipping options and considering all probable outcomes to decisions is basically my religion. But when, the solution comes into frame, it’s all systems go.  “Ain’t stopping at Jeff’s bench, on to Forbes list”..

9. I love art…….as long as it doesn’t make sense, I will probably like it.

That’s all for now, on with the tagging. I’d like a peek into your random self>>>>>>>> kawi..cassandraetricia